What are your best ideas for post-apocalyptic vehicles?

"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv) 03/30/2020 at 16:09 • Filed to: toilet paper won't stop the apocalypse

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With this whole pandemic going on, I’d say now is a good time to bring up the topic of post-apocalyptic cars. I’m not saying that society is going to collapse and the world will devolve into absolute chaos anytime soon, but... you know, it never hurts to have a plan.

My plan is to try and find an old Toyota Hilux, because if Top Gear’s taught me anything, it’s that old Toyota Hiluxes are indestructible. Rather than use the stock Toyota engine though, I think I’d try to swap a 350 Chevy v8 into it, simply because that’s the most common v8 in the world, so finding parts would be relatively easy.

I also remember seeing someone propose the idea of nabbing a road-rail vehicle so that you can avoid the problematic streets altogether and live a more peaceful life on the rails, off-roading when the need arises, and raiding stranded trains.

So what do you all think? What are your apocalypse car ideas?

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:14

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That movie had some really crazy post-apocalyptic cars, especially that Beetle.

PartyPooper2012 > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:16

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by that logic, wouldnt you want to use a beige camry?

sony1492 > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:16

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Volvo 740 wagon, Honda civic, 4x4 4 runner, 1st gen crv, any 4x4 t100

PartyPooper2012 > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 03/30/2020 at 16:17

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Would a door on that thing even open? Wouldn’t the spikes cross and not let you in - especially while juggling groceries and toilet paper rolls. 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:18

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I’d probably steal my neighbors 92-ish Chevy 1500.  It’s got a Small Block, 5 speed manual, and I think it’s 4x4.  Needs beefier tires - at that point it’s go anywhere do anything.  And the cab is big enough for me, Mrs. Snuze, and the Ozzman.  And I can put a lot of supplies in the bed.  

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > PartyPooper2012 03/30/2020 at 16:21

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You could hide the door handles between the spikes, which couldn’t be reached safely while the car is in motion. The other cars in that film had much less protection, which tended to be the reason how they got defeated.

Man, The Cars that Ate Paris was a really disturbing movie.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:22

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I guess I’d make it easy on myself and stick with our Outback. It would need a   few minor modifications.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:23

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Tesla Cybertruck with a large deployable solar array in the bed. Use it as a mobile battery, use it to sleep in, and use it for transportation. Utilitarian, capable of traveling extended distances without infrastructure (roads or fuel) , e tc. The only problem would be a lack of replacement parts, so maybe a similar vehicle based on something common like an F-350 might be a better choice.

MonkeePuzzle > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:23

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common for parts, durable, moderately efficient, some carrying capacity, acceptable off road credentials.

some sort of generic ford f150 would be my vote

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:25

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The best tool for the job is the one you have. Now I realize this works better for some of us more than others (and I’m not saying this as an excuse to daily drive your prepper 4x4) but as long as you have fuel, most cars would probably ok. The planning and food would probably be a bigger issue and I’d imagine most OPPO cars could make it pretty far down some dirt roads and off into the woods near it. I think I’d do just fine in the 4runner. 

My wild choice is: Get very far away from other people and have an electric Rav 4. Less moving parts, less worry about fuel.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:26

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Oh wait, did you fix your posting problems? Congrats. Did you use my links or did Kinja Help respond?

Gone > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:27

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Buy M934 (has body already) or M939 5 ton 6x6  and camper. Add 50" tires.

MultiplaOrgasms > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:37

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Scania 113E 6x2 with Aussie bull bar up front and trailer . Not the fastest thing around, but enough mass and robust enough   to clear roadblocks and impervious to pit maneuver attempts. 360hp S traight Six DS11 engine for a balance between performance, fuel economy, serviceability and ability to endure long-term a buse . Trailer to carry supplies, large fuel tanks for long range, booby trapped of course should anybody try to steal. Trailer can be uncoupled for scouting or in emergency.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 03/30/2020 at 16:46

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I realized that the reason my other account wasn’t working was that I created it a couple days ago, and Kinja only lets you compose posts if you made your account before November 4, 2019. So my other account is permanently incapable of comp osing posts, but this one is fine.

Jim Spanfeller > PartyPooper2012 03/30/2020 at 16:51

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The Camry may be incredibly reliable, but the Hilux is built like a tank. The Camry would fall apart/get totaled long before the Hilux gives up. If someone were to try and attack me, I’d rather be in a vehicle that I know can get dropped from an exploding building, hit with a wrecking ball, set on fire, and submerged in the ocean and still run afterwards.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 16:56

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Ah that would explain it. I think I got in the deadline by only a month, but I never post to my personal blog anyways. But I also don’t have any private (ish) communication I would be trying to do, like you seem to be doing, so there’s really no point for me. 

Edgyhal94 > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 17:03

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Take what I already own, a 300tdi Range Rover Classic, and accessorise, mad max style. Top Gear even made a useful guide vehicle:

Some may scoff at a Range Rover Classic, but physically they are tough as hell, just look at the bowler wildcat. Yeah, looks like a Defender, but uses a Range Rover Classic chassis because it’s tougher and  the SAS used them because nothing else at the time even came close to being as tough that was civilian. W ith the 300TDI, fuel is a non issue. They’ll run off oil, chip fat, anything really with no issue, plus are bloody dependable engines, unlike the V8s. So yes, I’d just use what I have available.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 17:08

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In what post-apocalyptic situation is fuel widely available?

And for that reason, my money is on this:

A bicycle with electric assist.

Recharge the batteries with a solar panel if you have access to one.  Otherwise, you still have pedal power.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 03/30/2020 at 17:13

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But that leaves yo u an easy target for TP mobs to capture you for forced labor in their bog roll farms.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 17:29

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JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 17:29

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SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Jim Spanfeller 03/30/2020 at 17:33

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I have some experience with Hilux... especially the earlier ones. The fact that the Top Gear crew got it going each time is a testament more to the diesel engine in their example than anything else. The rest of the vehicle is far from apocalypse practical or resistant.

Personally, a 75 series Land Cruiser with the straight six non turbo diesel would be a better choice...it'd probably run on rendered human fat if it came down to it.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 03/30/2020 at 18:10

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Which is why you have post-apocolyptic Critical Mass rides...

PartyPooper2012 > Jim Spanfeller 03/31/2020 at 06:07

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Your scientific facts may come from fictional movies. That is my assumption.

However, a camry - easily replaced and easily repaired... many of them on the road.

But thinking more about it - wouldn’t you want a modular setup that you can port onto any other vehicle?

Take some of that bullet proof shields. Yank em off camry, stick em on a suburban and go.

I think to win, you must be able to roll with the punches - if you rely solely on hilux and in a bad spot there are no hiluxi to be found, you’re ded.